Who would have funk’d it? Those 3 immortal words from that great soul legend George McRae (not the 19th century Scottish textile merchant or Australian poet, although either could have penned those lyrics years before disco ever came into fashion) have been playing on heavy rotation in my somewhat vacant mind for the last 62 minutes as I nobly attempt to put Sybella to sleep.
Actually rocking your baby is quite appropriate for this nocturnal activity. I had pondered the use of Michael Jackson’s Rock With You, but the tempo is better with George. You can set your settling soundtrack to any artist that takes your fancy (maybe not death metal, but certainly Metallica works as well as Mozart). If you take Off The Wall and Thriller you can easily boogy the night away to 2 of the best albums of all time. Just as Thriller builds to a crescendo baby and you will be as one in a motion that not only will ensure that your newborn gets to sleep but you too can burn those calories with just 60 minutes of dance fitness.
You can even mix it up in terms of dance styles; in fact, why stop at dance when you can incorporate olympic events such as speed skating or nordic skiing. Imagine yourself as a cross between John Travolta and Steven Bradbury in a darkened room with no one watching. I did this with Frankie, our firstborn, and ever since then I have had calves like Cadel Evans, not to mention a booty as firm as the Elgin Marbles.
The other thing to consider is when to actually put your baby down. I call this the meat thermometer test (not the most imaginative title I know), similar to the test you perform on your roast to see if its cooked. The baby meat thermometer test uses that same principle in that you prod an object in a piece of meat to see if its ready. With a baby you put your pinky in its mouth to see if they react, if they stir they’re not ready, if they dont even twitch – your roast is done and you can now lay it to rest in its cot/bassinet.
Once the baby is down, another dilemma will confront you as a concerned parent; which side to put the baby’s head. Now at this stage let me just say that after all that dancing and hip swaying you just want he/she to go down so you may not care that they develop a slightly flat side of the head. I have to admit, I dont really care – if it means she sleeps for at least another 3 hours and I can get some downtime, so be it. Its amazing what a dodgy haircut and a baseball cap can do to hide unsightly features.
And so another evening ends with a big sigh of relief and the inevitable question: “When does it get better again?” Ah, thats right, in the next couple of months…
For all those who remember Mr McRae the soul legend, here’s a little treat for you (and dont forget to practice those dance moves):